SayPro Accepting that I am HIV positive

SayPro is a non-profit organization that provides various training services to the community. They provide training in drugs and substance abuse. This training is provided because, during adolescence, a young person goes through biological and psychological changes. In addition to the physical changes that mark growing up, the teen’s brain is also developing ways to work more effectively. We empower more than 10 000 youth by providing Life and Work Readiness skills through ICT based programs.My name Silvia Stuart (Alias)I was born on the 23 February 1995 in a small village called Ga-mashashane in Limpopo.i am from a family of three, my mother, little brother and myself. I was raised very well by my mother and she took great care of me and little brother. I passed my grade in 2018, and relocated to Gauteng Johannesburg, in a semi-suburb township called Thembisa, where I stayed with my aunts while applying to study Business Management and searching for a part-time job.It wasn’t long until I started getting used to the place and on one of the days I was out to drop CV’s and I met a nice looking guy called Tshepo that offered to accompany me. At first I was shy but after realizing that he is from a Limpopo and he happened to recognize my surname. I let loose and got comfortable. We had a long interesting chat about what we both do for a living and what our aspirations. We then exchanged contacts and promised to keep in touch. Later that very same week, Tshepo called and requested that we meet at one of Thembisa’s local fast food restaurant called Busy Corner, and thinking that the last time things went well, I decided to go and meet him. There was just one thought I couldn’t get rid of and that was my mom’s words telling me no to focus on boys but remember the reason I moved to Joburg, but I just said “what could go wrong”.Tshepo and I started dating and one night we went out and had drinks, I got so sloshed and couldn’t even stand straight. We then went left to his house where we slept together and because I was drank I didn’t even as him to use a condom, and in the moment my only worry was falling pregnant and Tshepo said don’t worry I will withdraw. The next morning I woke up with a hangover and I felt very dizzy as Tshepo walked me to take a Taxi. In my mind I’m think, what a great time I had, but also the thought of explaining to my aunt as to where I slept, got me very worried. When I got home I had found out that my aunt had gone to visit her sister, my other aunt and she left right after I left yesterday. I suddenly got a great feeling of relief and thought to myself, my thing with Tshepo must be blessed by God, if I didn’t get caught.Life continued as if nothing happened and we kept our relationship going, but it wasn’t a month after I started feeling sick and my body started changing and my first thoughts were that maybe I might have fallen pregnant. Within the second month I started to develop flu-like symptoms, swollen glands and a rash and I was worried but got medication from the chemists. Within one week, I started look and feeling well.It was after a year that I started feeling the same and remembering that I had only tested for pregnancy at home and have not gone for HIV testing, I went straight to the internet to search for symptoms to check what could possibly be wrong with me. To my surprise the signs directed to the first stage of HIV/AIDS.I spoke to Tshepo and told him how I felt and what it could mean and immediately he dropped my said it’s over and dropped my call. Out of panic I called my mom and told her how I was feeling, she then spoke to my aunt and decided that I should go get tested to check if I’m not pregnant. It was on a Monday mongering when my aunt accompanied me to Thembisa hospital where, we waited in a long cue, filling a form with my credentials. After an hour and half of waiting I finally got called to the nurse’s room where I explained how I felt and the nurse started explaining that I would have to get tested but she also emphasized that I needed to receive pre-counselling first.The nurse gave me counselling and told me that they would first test me for HIV/AIDS infection and then run a pregnancy test. I got so scared when she told me that HIV/AIDS doesn’t mean it’s the end of the word and that if I am infected I would have to start taking treatment and change my living habits to make sure that I do not spread the virus and infect others. She also asked if I had a partner and I explained that my boyfriend left me after I tried explaining how I felt and requested that we both get tested.During our session, a lot of things started coming back and I was worried that I had not even gotten a job and started with school and for a second I felt like the world was against me, but the nurse kept me calm as she started with the testing process. I must say that I had never been so scared in my life, it a matter of seconds, my results came clear and it was as if I could dig a whole and burry myself when I saw three lines and the nurse said “Silvia, do you understand what these three lines mean” and without saying anything to her I ran out of her room and went passed my aunt in the waiting area, rushing outside. My aunt followed me and asked what was wrong and I just cried and asked her to take me home. I told her that I was HIV/AIDS positive and I didn’t want to go back in there, out of concern she pleaded with me to go back inside and get information on what to do next. I went back in with here and the nurse explained the process for starting treatment and I agreed to everything simply because I just wanted us to finish so that I could go home. During my trip back to my aunt’s house, all I could think about was, how could, I let Tshepo ruin my life like this.When I got home, went to my room and locked myself in there, thinking of taking my life and regretting why I fell for Tshepo in the first place, and for the that whole week I kept myself closed in my room only getting out at during my meal times. My aunt tried to convince me to go back to hospital and start the process for taking treatment and I just couldn’t bring myself to agree to her advice.My mother decided to come to Thembisa and give me support, and seeing her supporting me and not making me feel worse that I was already feeling, she said to me, “I know it seems impossible to regain control of your life my little princess, but I am here to for you and I love you so much”.My mom’s support gave me the courage to go back to hospital, where I tested for pregnancy and it came back negative, I then received counselling and started the process for taking treatment. As I write this story, I am currently doing my second year at UNISA pursuing a qualification in Business Management and I am also a part of the University Health Program called “My health matters” where we educate our peer students about sexual health and HIV/AIDS prevention methods. I am also a motivational speaker where I work with Community Based Organisation, motivating their beneficiaries about living a transformative life with HIV/AIDS. Southern Africa Youth Project is one of the organisations that I work with.

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