3.1 INTRODUCTION

Many people who were abused either physically or sexually – go on to live absolutely normal lives and manage to put the trauma behind them. But it’s also possible for people to suffer problems for years because of earlier abuse. Memories and feelings can also resurface – perhaps triggered by something you see or hear – causing a lot of anxiety and distress.As everybody is different, it is not easy to know exactly how you will feel as an adult living with past experience of being abused. You may have reported the abuse or lived with it in secret for years. But it’s possible that at some time in your life your memories or fears will come back. This means you may be feeling some very intense emotions. Adults who were abused when they were young often say they can feel traumatised, frightened, guilty, powerless, angry, ashamed and depressed, or find it difficult to eat, sleep or concentrate.Inorder to recover from abuse, a victim must have access to help from relevant authorities or organisations. As we highlighted earlier, if one notices abuse, he or she must report it to relevant authorities and or assist the victim to get help. To have access to necessary help, a victim needs to be supported and assisted from the initial stages of the abuse until recovery.3.2 SUPPORTING VICTIMS OF ABUSE (US260558 SO 3, AC 1, AC 3)A victim of abuse must be supported from the point of disclosing the abuse until the abuse is resolved and the patient recovers. Let us look at specific cases and how victims can be supported.3.2.1 SUPPORTING AN ABUSED CHILDLet us assume that a child approaches you and informs you that they have been abused. The following support must be provided;1. DISCLOSURE STAGEWhen a child discloses that he or she has been abused, it is an opportunity for an adult to provide immediate support and comfort and to assist in protecting the child from the abuse. It is also a chance to help the child connect to professional services that can keep them safe, provide support and facilitate their recovery from trauma. Disclosure is about seeking support and your response can have a great impact on the child or young person’s ability to seek further help and recover from the trauma.It is important to remember, however, that if a child has decided to speak to you, then there is a good chance they trust you. Simply by calmly and empathically listening and offering support, you are helping the child or young person. There are some general tips for responding to disclosure

• Always listen to and support the child or young person

It is essential that when a disclosure is made that you support and reassure the child or young person. Remember, it is the role of appropriate authorities to investigate the truth of the claim. Your role is to support the child or young person. Quizzing the child or young person for details or asking him or her to repeat their story a number of times can create the impression you doubt what the child or young person has said. This type of quizzing might also be interpreted as “leading” the child and might have unintended consequences if any legal action is taken.

• Don’t make promises you can’t keep

Child abuse, particularly child sexual abuse, relies on secrecy. Other forms of abuse are also usually hidden. Children learn at a very young age to hide what is happening to them. Sometimes they fear repercussions for themselves or other family members. In other instances they may fear the consequences for parents whom they love in spite of the abuse. Because of this, a child or young person might ask an adult to promise secrecy before disclosing. Such a promise should not be made. By telling the child: “I can’t make that promise, but I can tell you I will do my best to keep you safe” you can reassure the child and encourage him/her to speak out about abuse.

• Reassure the child or young person that it is right to tell

A child or young person disclosing abuse needs to be reassured that the adult is not angry he or she has disclosed the information. If the adult exhibits distress, the child or young person must also be reassured that the adult’s reaction is because adults want children to be safe. Reassure the child or young person that he or she is not the cause of the distress. Also address any concerns about the child or young person’s safety, particularly if he or she fears potential consequences of disclosing. The child or young person may need to be reassured of the same things repeatedly over an extended period of time, especially if legal proceedings follow the disclosure. It is vital that the child or young person knows that the abuse and anything that happens afterwards are the responsibility of the perpetrator for committing the abuse, not the child or young person for disclosing. For example, if parents separate after a disclosure of child abuse, the child or young person needs frequent reassurance it was not his or her fault.

• Don’t be afraid of saying the “wrong” thing

Children will very rarely disclose a secret if they have decided not to (Bussey, 1996). Therefore, if a child or young person has revealed to you that they have been or are being abused, it is a sign that they trust you and that simply speaking to you will be helpful. Try not to be distracted by needing to know exactly the “right” thing to say. As long as you listen supportively then the child or young person will benefit from talking to you.

• Maintain a calm appearance

Inevitably a disclosure of child abuse will evoke strong feelings for the adult hearing it. For some, the news may be overwhelming. Although potentially difficult, it is helpful if you can be calm and patient. Allow time for the child or young person to trust that he or she will be listened to and helped. It can be useful to remember, particularly when the disclosure is of past abuse, that the child or young person has already survived the abuse. The only thing that has changed is your awareness of it. If the child or young person becomes aware of your distress you can explain that you are upset because adults are meant to care for children and you are sad because some adults hurt children.

• Give the child or young person your full attention

A child or young person might not always begin talking about what happened to them in the best place. If you are in a busy and/or noisy place, ask the child or young person if you can move to a place where you can hear him or her properly. Whilst remaining sensitive to the child or young person’s needs, let him or her know that you want to be able to give him or her your full attention. Respect his or her wishes about where the best place is: some localities may trigger memories or be reminders of abuse (e.g., being alone in a quiet, isolated place with an adult).

• Let the child or young person take his or her time

Disclosing is difficult for children and young people and something they may only be able to do a little at a time. Allow the child or young person to take his or her time to speak. Some children may not wish to talk much about the abuse and might want to resume some regular activity soon after disclosing. Others, however, might need to talk for longer about different aspects of their experience. It is important the child or young person does not feel rushed or panicked and that you have plenty of time to soothe and reassure him or her.

• Let the child or young person use his or her words

Children and young people have their own way of describing their experiences. It can be useful to clarify what they mean by asking: “Are you saying … ?”. It is important not to assume you and the child or young person mean exactly the same thing. It is also important not to ask questions that suggest the “right” words to a child or young person, or in a way that can be seen as putting words in the child’s mouth. If your conversation with the child or young person is later used during legal proceedings, it is important that the child or young person’s account is not seen as having been distorted by your questioning (Powell & Snow, 2007). Any questions asked should be relatively general and aimed at eliciting just enough information in order to work out what action is required and which authority should be contacted.

• Accept that the child or young person will disclose only what is comfortable and recognise the bravery/strength of the child for talking about something that is difficult

It is important that children and young people disclosing abuse feel in control of their situation. This is to counter the experience of violation and loss of control caused by the abuse. It is also important to acknowledge the child’s bravery and strength in talking about something that is difficult. Understanding that a child or young person may reveal only minimal details of abuse will help you to accept the disclosure under the child’s or young person’s terms. It is possible to gently prompt with questions such as: “Can you tell me more about that?” but it is best not to press the child or young person for details.

• Let the child or young person know what you will do next

When explaining to a child or young person what you will do next, it is important to ensure he or she understands. Try to avoid speaking about organisations and authorities that the child or young person may not be familiar with without explaining the organisation’s name, its purpose and what its staff will do. Advise the child or young person that in order for them to be safe they will need to talk to another person (police or child protection) about their experience and that you will support him or her through that experience. Let the child or young person know he or she can ask about what will happen next as often as he or she needs to.In an overwhelming situation, information can be hard for children to retain and they may need reminding. Only reveal the disclosure to those absolutely necessary. If you believe you need to discuss the disclosure with others outside the police or child protection authority (e.g., a school counselor, Principal etc.) let the child or young person know. Child abuse often leaves children feeling disempowered and lacking control in their own life. Making sure the child or young person is fully aware of each step can make the process less intimidating and can help return a sense of power and safety.3.2.2 SUPPORTING AN ABUSED WOMENIf you know or suspect that a family member, friend or work colleague is experiencing abuse, it may be difficult to know what to do. It can be very upsetting that someone is hurting a person you care about.So what can you do to support her?

• Talk to her and help her to open up. You may have to try several times before she will confide in you
• Try to be direct and start by saying something like, “I’m worried about you because …..” or “I’m concerned about your safety…”
• Do not judge her
• Listen to and believe what she tells you – too often people do not believe a woman when she first discloses abuse
• Reassure her that the abuse is not her fault and that you are there for her
• Don’t tell her to leave or criticise her for staying. Although you may want her to leave, she has to make that decision in her own time. It is important to remember that research shows an abused woman is at most risk at the point of separation and immediately after leaving an abusive partner
• Leaving takes a great deal of strength and courage. An abused woman often faces huge obstacles such as nowhere to go, no money and no-one to turn to for support
• Focus on supporting her and building her self confidence
• Acknowledge her strengths and frequently remind her that she is coping well with a challenging and stressful situation
• An abused woman is often very isolated and has no meaningful support – help her to develop or to keep up her outside contacts. This can help to boost her self esteem.
• If she has not spoken to anyone else, encourage her to seek the help of a local domestic violence agency that understands what she is going through and offers specialist support and advice
• Be patient. It can take time for a woman to recognise she is being abused and even longer to take be able to take safe and permanent decisions about what to do. Recognising the problem is an important first step

Helping a woman and her children to keep safe· A woman’s safety and the safety of her children is paramount· Talk to her about how she and her children can keep safe· Help her to stay safe:o Agree a code word or action that is only known to you both so she can signal when she is in danger and cannot access help herselfo Don’t make plans for her yourself, but encourage her to think about her safety more closely and focus on her own needs rather than hiso Find out information about local services for her; offer to keep spare sets of keys or important documents, such as passports, benefit books, in a safe place for her so that she can access them quickly in an emergency· Encourage her to think of ways in which she can increase the safety of her children· Remember that it isn’t children’s responsibility to protect their mother. In an emergency they could call for help from the police, go to a neighbour, or a relative or someone they trust.2. MAKING A REPORT TO AUTHORITIESThe next step is to assist the woman to report the case to the relevant authorities such as the Police. When reporting the following information might be required;

• Details – the person’s name, age and address
• Indicators of harm – the reason for believing that the injury or behaviour is the result of abuse or neglect
• Reason for reporting – the reason why the call is being made now
• Safety assessment – assessment of immediate danger to the women and her children. For example, information may be sought on the whereabouts of the alleged abuser or abusers
• Description – description of the injury or behaviour observed
• Woman’s whereabouts – the current whereabouts of the woman
• Other services – your knowledge of other services involved with the family
• Family information – any other information about the family
• Cultural characteristics – any specific cultural or other details which will help to care for the child – for example, cultural origins, interpreter or disability needs.

NOTEA report should still be made, even if you don’t have all the information listed above. The reporter’s identity is protected unless they provide written consent for it to be disclosed or it is required by order of the Court.

After making a report, some of your ongoing responsibilities can include:

• Acting as a support person for the child or young person during interviews, hospital assessments and counselling sessions.
• Attending a case conference
• Participating in case planning meetings
• Continuing to monitor the child’s or young person’s behaviour in relation to ongoing harm
• Providing written reports for case planning meetings or court proceedings
• Helping families’ make the changes required to keep children safe.
• Following up on the recovery of the person.

3.3 CONCEPT OF EMPATHY IN PROVISION OF SUPPORT(US260558 SO 3, AC 2)When providing support to abused persons, one needs to show empathy. To show empathy is to identify with another’s feelings. It is to emotionally put yourself in the place of another. The ability to empathize is directly dependent on your ability to feel your own feelings and identify them.1. Awareness & AcknowledgmentEmpathy begins with awareness of another person’s feelings. It would be easier to be aware of other people’s emotions if they would simply tell us how they felt. But since most people do not, we must resort to asking questions, reading between the lines, guessing, and trying to interpret non-verbal cues. Emotionally expressive people are easiest to read because their eyes and faces are constantly letting us know how they are feeling.Once we have figured out how another person feels, we show empathy by acknowledging the emotion. We may say, for example,

• I can see you are really uncomfortable about this.
• I can understand why you would be upset.

We can also show empathy through a simple sign of affection such as hug or a tender touch. Though empathy is usually used in reference to sensing someone else’s painful feelings, it can also apply to someone’s positive feelings of success, accomplishment, pride, achievement etc. In this case a "high five" would also be a sign of empathy.2. Empathy, Understanding and CompassionEmpathy is closely related to compassion, but empathy both precedes compassion and is a pre-requisite for compassion. When we feel empathy for someone we are getting emotional information about them and their situation. By collecting information about other people’s feelings, you get to know them better. As you get to know others on an emotional level, you are likely to see similarities between your feelings and theirs, and between your basic emotional needs and theirs. When you realize that someone else’s basic emotional needs are similar to yours, you are more able to identify with them, relate to them and empathize with them.All humans share similar emotional needs. The wide variety among our needs is mostly a difference in degree, rather than in type. For example, we all need to feel some degree of freedom, but one person may need more freedom than another.Compassion can be defined as a combination of empathy and understanding. Greater empathy gives you greater information, and the more information you have on something, the more likely you are to understand it.3.4 UPDATING AND KEEPING CONFIDENTIAL RECORDS OF ABUSE(US260558 SO 3, AC 4)Records relating to abuse and neglect reports are kept and maintained by

• Police protection units,
• Courts
• Schools
• social services agencies and
• NGO’s to aid in the investigation, treatment, and prevention of abuse cases and to maintain statistical information.

In many States, these records and the results of investigations are maintained in databases, which often are called central registries.All records pertaining to abuse cases must be regarded as confidential. Let us look at the disclosure of records relating to abuse;

1. Persons or Entities Allowed Access to Records

Most jurisdictions permit certain persons access to registry and department records. In general, these people have a direct interest in a case or in providing protective or treatment services. Many statutes specifically describe who may access the records and under what circumstances.Typically, persons entitled to access are physicians; researchers; police; judges and other court personnel; the person who is the subject of a report; a person who was an alleged child victim; and the parent, guardian, or guardian ad item of an alleged victim who is a minor.

2. Public Disclosure of Records

Information about abuse and neglect records may not be disclosed directly to the public.

NOTERecords of abuse must be updated regularly as more information is made available.

REFERENCESThe Impact of Abuse on Women, by Dave Decker M.A.

Psychological Self-Help, by Dr. Clayton E. Tucker-Ladd

Integrated Case Management Guidelines: Child AbuseHow To Stop Elderly Abuse: A Prevention Guidebook, Anne Hart – Hart, Anne, ISBN 10: 0595235506, ISBN 13: 9780595235506http://www.womeninaction.co.za/social-affairs/statistics-on-domestic-violence-in-south-africa;;;;;http://eqi.org/empathy.htm;;;

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